Well, after a few awkwards hang outs and what have you, we have come to terms on the "friend situation". After a few shots of booze later, it turns out she was upset because I had told her that she shouldn't have black as a wedding color. Also, she claims that she never declared B the MOH and was upset that people had told me that. But, she did ask me to be the MOH, which of course I accepted. So we are all good again on the friend front. I know how you were all so very concerned.

So, what else is going on on the home front? We adopted a "house boy". Well really he is one of Travis's friends that came into hard times due to a jerk-headed friend/roommate. He moved in with us the begining of January. For the most part it's great having him around, but as with living with anyone, there are trials.

I have a new hobby, if you can call it that. An awesome friend of my invited me to join her family's book club. We have had two meeting so far and I am really enjoying it. I need to get better at reading the books throughout the month rather than trying to cram it all in the last week. But it's been something to look forward to every month. March's book is The Hunger Games which is coming out with a movie at the end of March that we are going to see as a group. It's so much fun!

My appearance has been on my mind a lot lately. I really need to/want to lose weight. But, for whatever reason I just can't get the motivation do it. I know what I need to change and I what I need to do, but Lazy takes over. That evil whore! I really need to so something though. I hate what I have become. I hate what I look like. I hate that my boyfriend wishes I looked how I did when I was 16. I hate how clothes look on me. I need to fix, but the words are as far as I get. How do you get motivated? How do you redesign your whole life and shake all the bad habits you have accquired?  That's what I need to work and somehow some way I am going to make it happen.

What does "Best Friend" really mean?

Fair warning.... this is a really long post just about my bitching. =^)

In other news..... I have crappy friends. We some of them seem to suck more so than the others. We really, one to be specific has really upset me and it seems she has no idea that she did, which makes it like ten time worse.

This friend is getting married in July of this year. Aside from what some may think, I am extremely happy for her. I am so happy that she found someone that loves her they way she needs to loved and makes her happy. Now, where the issue comes in is how the relationship started and how fast it has moved. But at this point in time I have accepted this.

What makes her a crappy friend is the fact that we have been friends for about 18 years. Yes over those years we were constantly inseparable and we weren't the closest, but once we reconnected, you would have never known there was any time apart. Ever since she has started dating this guy, I never see her. When I do it's never just her, he is ALWAYS there. Which, whatever, I guess when you are couple you always want to be together if you can, I guess. That really isn't the point. What I am the most upset about is that me, her best friend, the one that has known her the longest, that knows all of her secrets, and almost everything about her... is not the Maid of Honor. Which again, okay whatever, it's your wedding you can chose whoever you want to be a part of it, but the least you can do is tell me. I really shouldn't have to hear it from all the other girls.

In October, I think, we went to a bridal show to get ideas for her wedding. I asked if she was having a wedding party and she said just me and another one of our friends. No specific titles were stated. So I assumed that she wasn't having a Maid of Honor. I assumed that we were both kind of filling the role. But you know what assuming does..... So, a few days before Christmas the girls got together for dinner to exchange gifts. She, of course, flaked out. While we were all talking one friend, J, mentioned that BFF had told her that B (the friend that went to the bridal show with us) was the Maid of Honor. This not only was a surprise to me, but is was to B as well. She had no idea that this is what BFF wanted. So since this dinner BFF and I have hung out a few times and she has yet to mention it. I think that makes me this most irritated is that she doesn't have the balls to tell me that I really don't mean that much to her.

Last Saturday we, BFF, B-MOH, J, and of course Hubs, had breakfast. We were suppose to go wedding dress shopping, but she decided to cancel at the last minute and just get breakfast instead. So while at breakfast, we were talking about the wedding. I, of course, have no idea what's going on because I haven't been included in the planning at all. Due to being left out completely of my best friends wedding plans, I was  a little upset. I was asked what was wrong and I really didn't want to get into it there so I said I was fine. After we left the restaurant, BFF had the guts to text me and ask if I was really okay. I responded with I've lost my best friend. Which she responded with, How? Really? You have to ask how? Hmmmmm maybe because I am not her MOH, maybe because I haven't been included in a damn thing with plans for the wedding, maybe because we NEVER talk anymore, maybe because we NEVER hang out anymore, maybe because she doesn't have the guts to be honest with me, this list could go on forever.

So now I have no idea what to do. Do I approach her and call her out or do I just let her come around? I kind of just want to say eff you have a nice life, but it's hard to just toss 18 years friendship out the window. I just don't know. This Friday the three of us (me, BFF, and B) are suppose to get dinner and "talk". I assume they are going to officially tell me that I am not MOH. I really really don't want to go. I don't want to waste anymore energy on all of this. I just want to put it behind me and move on. Ahhhhhh!!!!! I don't know............................

Thanks for reading, if you made it this far. I will keep you posted on what happens. "As the world turns, these are the days of our lives...."

2012 Is Happening Now

Well, the new year has begun and I never achieved anything I had set out to do last year. I don't consider myself a failure, it just means that I need to try harder this year. Yes, I am going to the steriotypical goals this year; live healthier (a.k.a. lose weight), get my finances in order, and maybe get some schooling in. Blah blah blah you know the rest of how all this goes. I will try and be better at keeping things updated around here too.

Here Comes the Holidays

So I just typed this big long blah blah blah about how weird, yet great, it was this Thanksgiving without my family and a lot more blah blah blah about all the issues that are going between us. I deleted it. Why did I delete you ask? Well.... because it's not worth it.

I made a little turkey dinner here at home. We had Valory for the day so we went to the movies, made dinner, and played Monopoly on the Wii. It was a lot of fun and very relaxing change. I am excited to see what Christmas will bring. I have a ton of shopping to do still, but I have made a decent dent.

Things have been pretty good lately. I was able to buy a new car after the Sentra died. It has been a lot of fun! Money is really tight and stressful, but things are working out. I got a new position at work in the HR department, which came with an okay raise. It's been rough learning all new things and giving up the things I have been doing for the past four year. But all in all it will be great once I will get the hang of it all. This was a pretty lame update. I will try and do better next time.

Thanks for reading! =-)

Look Ma I'm Famous!

So, random thing happened today... A friend of mine knows Matt Gephardt from Channel 2 News. He posted something on Facebook  asking if anyone knew a Katrina in the Salt Lake Area. So my friend tagged me in her comment and asked if I wanted to help with a story. I commented with sure. Matt then messaged me and told me who he was doing a story about how wild fires and hurricanes are named. So he was wanting to interview a few people that have the same names and what comments they receive because of it. So as a result.... I will be interviewed tomorrow at 10:30am.

I am kind of freaking a little bit. What do I wear? I am a total goober! I am so nervous! Ahhhhhh!!!! Not to mention, I hope I don't get in trouble for them coming to my work. I will have to talk to my boss as soon as I get to work.

I will let you know how it all turns out. =^)

Life Changing..... Maybe

Boyfriend wants out of Utah as much as a fat kid wants chocolate cake. Last year he decided he was moving to Colorado when our lease was up. Luckily, for me, he started his business and didn't have the money to move. So, we re-signed the lease for another year.

We would love to find a house with a yard for the doggies to run around. We looked into buying one, but because I am a total idiot and I wouldn't be able to qualify on the loan. So as of right this moment we are stuck here, for the moment.

Here is the life changing possibly part. He recently went to a quick trip to Oregon and re-fell in love with the state. He wants to do everything he can to move there next June once our lease ends. The real questions, do I move with him? Does he really want me to go with him? If I do move will we be able to survive there? Will we be able to find a job? What about those that I am leaving behind? I really don't know what to do.

It makes you really look into your relationship. There are endless amounts of questions to be asked and absolutely no one has the answers but you. You really have to do some soul searching and discovering those answers.

I wish it was easier. I wish I could phone a friend and find out what I am suppose to do in life and who and where I am suppose to end up with. Life isn't that hard. No matter what you do it will continue to happen around you with or without you. Pick your path...... I HATE DECISION MAKING.

So much has been going on the last while, yet it seems like nothing. Just normal run of the mill daily life, but overall is has been very busy and almost overwhelming. Where to start….

How about we go with friendship. My so called best friend has pretty much disowned me and would rather hang out with her married, yes he’s married, boyfriend than me. Which there is nothing I can do about, so there’s no sense in being upset about it; but I still am upset. It’s irritating that she blows off me all the time. Doesn’t bother letting me know she isn’t going to make it or eff off or anything. One of my biggest pet peeves, if you don’t want to do something or can’t make it, just be honest with me. Don’t just leave me high and dry and then text me an hour or so later with some dumb excuse. It’s total bs and makes me very irritated.

Okay enough ranting about that. On a happier note about friendship…. Two of my very good friend married on another on Friday, June 10, 2011. Most people would look at our history and wonder how the heck we all can be friends. To be honest, I don’t know, but I do know that it’s just how it’s supposed to be. I wish them the best of the best and know they will have a terrific life together. I am kind of envious of what they have. Someday I
will get there.

I haven’t talked to my parents or my step-sister since mid-March. My dad chose to post a not so awesome comment on Facebook and well, to keep it short, it blew up. As a result, it ruined my relationship with my family. Which overall, I am kind of okay with. I haven’t really felt part of the family in quit some time. They would always do their own thing and never include me. I know they would sum it up to me never wanting to go or me not being able to go, but why would I want to go somewhere when I know I am not

wanted. I think the hardest part is I miss my niece and nephew the most. My nephew is just a baby, but I am missing out on all that fun baby stuff. My niece and I were really close. We spend a lot of time together when she was little. But it’s their choice to said they things they did and I don’t think anything will change until someone apologizes and well, I don’t think it’ll be me because I don’t think I did anything wrong.


Well, blah blah blah. That's all at the moment. Well there is more, but not to share at this time.

Love ya'll!