How I got where I am today... Part 1

For those of you that may or may not know me too well, I figure I would briefly tell you how I have seen my life thus far. Be warned, it will be very long. Some area will be detailed more than other, but I will do my best.

I was born on Wednesday, March 12, 1986 in the Sweet Water County Hospital in Rock Springs Wyoming. My parents are Keith and Selena and my brother is Richard. As one can assume I don't remember anything about this time, but from what I can see from pictures, I was a pretty happy and awesome baby. When I was around 2 or so we moved from Wyoming to California. I don't remember exactly where, but it was cozy. I remember have all kinds of trees and eating fresh avocado. About a year later we moved to Utah.

What I remember about moving is my aunt Claudine and Grandma Miller coming to pick up my brother and I and take us back to Utah while my parents packed up and moved. I remember my parents sending us a letter and picture while they were moving. I also remember sitting my grandparent's living room with the whole family (aunts, uncles, grandparents, and minus  my parents), and everyone was upset. My uncle Stanton kept yelling, "That's not fair!" To this day I have no idea what exactly everyone was upset about. Later in my life I found out the reason my brother and I went to stay with my grandparent was because my mom was checked into a rehab center for her alcohol abuse. Still haven't been able to find out the real story or all the details. I hope I am able to someday.

So once my parents got everything packed up, they joined us in Utah. We lived at my grandparent's house for a few months. We then moved to a place called Wendell Circle. I have no idea what city it's in, I only remember that. I remember my brother and I shared a room and it was a tiny house. My brother got hit in the face with an aluminum baseball at there. I remember my mom freaking out and driving around trying to decide if we should go to the doctors or not. I don't remember if we ever did. He's totally fine now.

After the circle, we moved into a duplex in Midvale on Ivy Drive. This place was all around bad. Good memories were made, but a lot of bad things happened here. (I could go into a lot and I mean A LOT of detail here, but I might save that for another day.)

At this point I am around 7 years old I believe. My dad starts to build us a house in West Valley City. He literally built the majority of that house. I don't remember how long it took, but the family helped the best we could. I painted the kitchen walls! I remeber it was finshed around Christmas time. My dad put a small Christmas Tree on the swap cooler box and the house was our Christmas present. (I am pretty sure we got other thing too.) We moved into the house in January of 1994. I started 2nd grade at Hillside Elementary just after Winter break ended. Life in this house wasn't divine. We have issues, we had trials, we had struggles, but one thing there was a TON of was Love. We were a very close family. We had dinner together every night, we talked about each other's days, we worked on homework. It was everything I had ever hoped it would be. 

Stay tuned for Part 2

Would you rather be really hot or really cold?

I totally vote for cold. You can always put more on, but you can only take so much off.

Ask me anything

This Is Where I Belong

At this very moment in time I am feeling really lost. I don't know who I am suppose to be, what I am suppose to be doing and I sure as hell don't know what tomorrow will bring. I do know that for the most part I am happy. I am grateful to have a roof over my head, food to eat, a job, clothes on my back and all the other things we all take for grante.

Am I suppose to where I am right now? Yes. Fate, destiny or whatever you call it has brought me here and will continue me on my journey. I was told yesterday that I was the best thing that could have happened to Travis and Valory. And that I can't go anywhere. That was the more rewarding statement I have ever heard. That's all I have ever wanted to do with my life is to make a difference in someone else's.

Being a "Step-Mom" certainly isn't the easyest job in the world. But in my heart I know I am doing what I should. There are so many days that I would love to just run away and tell Travis to figure it out himself, but I know in my heart I can't. That little girl needs me and in a way I need her. She entered my life for a reason, just like everyone does.

I am happy.

Do you believe there's intelligent life on other planets?

I believe there has to other life out there. There is no telling how far space goes. There is no reason there isn'. So yes I do.

Ask me anything

What do you want or hope for most this coming month?

In the month of July...... I would like to spend some real quality time with my honey. I would like to devote some time to the following, blogging, working out, cleaning more, and budgeting better.

Ask me anything

If you could go back to any moment in your personal history and change something where, when and why?

The first thing that came to mind it the last time I saw my mom alive, May 6, 1999. We were at the hospital visiting her and I was so excited that they had cable. So the entire evening I sat in the empty bed in her room watching tv. I should have been talking to her, spending time with her, cuddling her, and tell her how much I love her, but I didn't. I watched stupid cable.

Ask me anything

Who I should be with....

Life is ceratinly an adventure. There are so many ups and downs, so many challenges, rewards, and just straight up garbage.

I don't know where I stand today, nor do I know where I will stand tomorrow. What I do know is that I am going to make the most of what I have and continue to strive for more.

My dad and I got into a horrible fight a few weeks ago. It started with what a peice of crap Travis was for me and how he can't believe I am wasting my time. Later I found out that really what he wants is someone that can take care of me. Someone that will give me the best in everything. He doesn't know if Travis is that person, but he wants me to think before rushing into anything. I know Travis won't be someone that will be rich and be able to take care of me and I will never have to work again. I don't want that person. Yes I would like to finiancially stable and not have to stress how this bill or that bill will get paid. I don't think it should be his job to do that. I think we should be able to do it together. Work as a team. I thought that's what relationships and marriages were all about it working as a team? I know in the long run my dad just wants me to be happy, I am his baby and he wants to make sure I have the very best of everything. I appreciate him worry about me. But he does need to allow me to live my life the way I want to live it. I know in the long run he will, but he wanted me to know he thoughts.

Back to Travis...... I have no idea where this is going. Is that a bad thing? I mean I am extreemly happy. Yes, there are thing that I would like to see changed, but overall I am very happy. I am not 100% sure if he is the one that I am supposed to be with or the one I am suppose to marry. I have no idea. I have no idea whether I am the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with either. I do know what we only want to do this once and if that means waiting years and years to make sure that we are meant to be, then I will wait. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be sure. Whatever happens, happens for a reason.